Okay, raise your hand if that title did not intrigue you. Everyone with their hands raised is lying. Time for clarification. I attended Catholic school for grades 1-5 and my teachers were mostly nuns. Some of you may recall my posting about the great comic book incident.
Long before I was sentenced to hell for reading comics, my second grade teacher informed the whole class that there was no Santa and Christmas was Jesus’ birthday. Now, seeing as I was a very young and impressionable seven year old, one would imagine that this was a traumatic experience. As I recall, I more or less invalidated her premise, not the Jesus part, after all they pretty much pushed that story every week in church since I was old enough to attend. I got it…manger, virgin, three wise men.
The part I did not buy into was the no Santa Claus clause.(see how I made that cute pun) I was pretty sure I had hard scientific proof that Santa existed. After all, how did all those presents get under the tree? It’s not like anyone’s parents would go out and spend that kind of dough just to perpetuate some childhood fantasy. Let’s be reasonable. So, sorry lady in black, there is a Santa. Still got the half eaten cookie and as soon as the DNA testing comes back, you’re going to owe someone an apology.
Now, before you think all my Catholic school memories are negative let me close with a more uplifting tale. I saw my first naked lady at Catholic school. No, it wasn’t a nun! Sheesh, what a weird bunch you guys are. I was on the playground(church parking lot) in third grade and one of the older kids had one of those “floaty” pens with a picture of a bathing beauty on it and when you tipped the pen her suit disappeared. Hmm, come to think of it, those things would make great stocking stuffers!
Merry Everything!